Small in One Way (Upbeat Comedic)

[Verse 1] I bought a fancy measuring tape Then watched it curl and run away The bathroom mirror tried to grin So I gave the whole inspection a spin [Pre-Chorus] I used to think that size was king Then I learned a much more useful thing [Chorus] I have a small willy, but a big hello A heart like a suitcase, ready to go I may not impress the ruler on the wall But I bring the snacks and I answer your call I have a small willy, and I’m doing just fine Confidence is measured in quality time So laugh with me, darling, don’t make it a drill The smallest punchline can deliver a thrill [Verse 2] My tailor asked for extra room I said, “Just trust the natural bloom” My gym shorts boast a roomy seam They’re mostly carrying my self-esteem [Pre-Chorus] A telescope would find it hard to cope But I’ve got charm, and I’ve got hope [Chorus] I have a small willy, but a big hello A heart like a suitcase, ready to go I may not impress the ruler on the wall But I bring the snacks and I answer your call I have a small willy, and I’m doing just fine Confidence is measured in quality time So laugh with me, darling, don’t make it a drill The smallest punchline can deliver a thrill [Bridge] No need for a trophy, no need for a crown The best kind of swagger won’t knock people down Kindness has muscle, laughter has flair And nobody checks dimensions when you really care [Final Chorus] I have a small willy, but a big hello A heart like a suitcase, ready to go I may not impress the ruler on the wall But I bring the snacks and I answer your call I have a small willy, and I’m doing just fine Put your measuring tape back in the drawer this time Raise up a toast to the joke and the sill Small in one way, but enormous in chill [Outro] Small in one way—big in spirit still That’s my magnificent little thrill