Liquid Update (Upbeat Novelty)

[Intro] Oh no, oh no, I know that look Time to make a very urgent booking [Verse 1] I was halfway through a sandwich With mustard on my sleeve Then my belly sent a memo: "Friend, you gotta leave" I tried to act casual I tried to sip my tea But every little second said "Find a bathroom, please!" [Pre-Chorus] I’m walking like a penguin With dignity on loan If anybody asks me something I am temporarily gone [Chorus] I needs to pee, I needs to pee Please point me to the restroom immediately I needs to pee, don’t make me wait This is not a drill, it’s a liquid update I needs to pee, clear the way I’ll be back in just a minute, okay? [Verse 2] The elevator stopped at every floor Like it had time to kill I pressed the button seventeen times It did not help me still A toddler blocked the hallway A dog began to stare I smiled and said, "Good afternoon" While panic filled the air [Pre-Chorus] I’m doing tiny footsteps My eyebrows disagree There’s only one direction now: The nearest lavatory [Chorus] I needs to pee, I needs to pee Please point me to the restroom immediately I needs to pee, don’t make me wait This is not a drill, it’s a liquid update I needs to pee, clear the way I’ll be back in just a minute, okay? [Bridge] If you see me sprinting Please don’t ask me why If you hear a little squeaky shoe That’s my warning cry I’ll return victorious With peace upon my face And maybe wash my hands before I rejoin the human race [Final Chorus] I needs to pee, I needs to pee Hallelujah, I have reached facility I needs to pee, crisis complete Now I’m walking like a normal person down the street I needs to pee, what a day Thank you, porcelain throne, you saved the day! [Outro] Wash, dry, sigh of relief Back to my sandwich, back to belief