Laundry in the Freezer (Quirky Indie-Pop)

[Verse 1] Phone in the fridge Shoes in the sink I tried to call my toaster To ask it what to drink Keys in the oven Wallet on the roof I fed my parking ticket Some organic cat food [Chorus] I got my laundry in the freezer (why tho?) My pasta in the shower Smellin’ like a geezer (ew) I put my brain on airplane mode last year And now my thoughts just buffer in my ear (loading…) Laundry in the freezer (chillin’) Somehow I’m still callin’ this self-care Self-care (uh-huh) [Verse 2] I married my pillow In a drive-thru lane Signed the prenup on a napkin Then I ate it in the rain Ordered “extra gravity” From the late-night app Now I’m stuck to this sofa Like a sleepy house cat [Chorus] I got my laundry in the freezer (frostbite) My cereal in the cupboard with my sneakers (crunch) I put my plans on silent mode last year Now every good decision disappears (bye-bye) Laundry in the freezer (who’s gonna) And somehow I still call this self-care Self-care (uh… sure) [Bridge] [Beat drops to claps and bass] I said I’d quit on Monday Then I lost the whole week Checked my calendar this morning It just shrugged at me (rude) [Chorus] I got my laundry in the freezer (help me) My dignity on offer Half-off cheaper (sale) I put my brain on airplane mode last year Now every single thought needs souvenir beer (cheers) Laundry in the freezer (still there) And somehow I still call this self-care Self-care (mmm, maybe) [Verse 1] Doctor took my pressure Said “Boy You’re off the chart” I said “That’s just my personality And three cans of shopping cart” I tried to walk in a straight line The line walked away instead Now the ceiling’s my best friend We high-five above my bed [Chorus] I’m allergic to gravity (achoo) Keep floatin’ through the kitchen like a lost balloon Wrote my name on the moon in invisible ink Then I forgot how to blink Blink Blink I’m allergic to gravity (oh no) My socks keep flyin’ off like they’re in a show If you ask me “You okay?” I’ll say “Define okay Bro” [Verse 2] I microwaved some ice cubes Just to see if they’d complain Had an argument with cereal ‘Cause it called me “John Wayne” My echo filed a lawsuit Said I talk way too much trash Judge was just my mirror We both agreed I’m daft [Chorus] I’m allergic to gravity (for real) Just orbiting the sofa like a tired seal Put my thoughts in a jar Then I lost the lid Now they’re stuck to the fridge with a coupon Kid I’m allergic to gravity (help) My shadow sent a text sayin’ “Fix yourself” If you ask me “You alright?” I’ll say “Define ‘right’ by itself” [Bridge] [Halftime Tom-heavy] I tried to come back down But the floor called in sick So I’m loungin’ on the lightbulb Like a lazy candlestick (so bright) [Chorus] I’m allergic to gravity (achoo) Keep floatin’ through the bathroom singin’ “who are you” If you see me upside down Just wave and let me groove I’m allergic to gravity And I’m never gettin’ better Got a doctor’s note that’s just Fifty pages of confetti letters (yeah)