Cactus in a Tuxedo (Rowdy Comedy)

[Verse 1] You absolute turnip gremlin You budget‑brand chaos raccoon You discount thunder nugget Left in the sun at noon You soggy microwave dragon With the hair of a stressed-out mop You cafeteria nacho goblin Dripping on the floor nonstop (ew) [Chorus] You cactus in a tuxedo You goldfish on a power trip You overcooked spaghetti outlaw With the grace of a sinking ship You discount glitter tornado You half‑price headache parade I salute your tragic nonsense You magnificent walking charade (hey!) [Verse 2] You emotional support parking cone You jalapeño yoga fail You decaf espresso bandit With a brain like snail mail You Wi‑Fi at one bar forever You spreadsheet fever dream You limited‑edition oopsie On a customer service team (hold please) [Chorus] You cactus in a tuxedo You goldfish on a power trip You overcooked spaghetti outlaw With the grace of a sinking ship You discount glitter tornado You half‑price headache parade I salute your tragic nonsense You magnificent walking charade [Bridge] You decorative pillow with opinions You gluten‑free chainsaw of shame You artisanal disaster sampler Even spellcheck quits your name (dang) [Chorus] You cactus in a tuxedo You goldfish on a power trip You overcooked spaghetti outlaw With the grace of a sinking ship You discount glitter tornado You half‑price headache parade Stay weird You bizarre confetti My favorite insult upgrade (oh yeah)